His memory had failed him, he had to struggle a lot to find that place – in the middle of nowhere, it stood there, alone and aloof, like a big condescending judgement. The last time when he was here –  it was years ago.  He didn’t know why he came back to that room after all these years. May be because it reminded him of a time when he was free from all worries, a much simpler time, no wife, no kids, no responsibilities and no share holders haunting his nightmares, he was alone in the world without a care, he didn’t have this high paying job for which he had sacrificed his very soul, he was broke back then, but he was happy.

He looked around, the roof looked like it would fall off any moment. He saw the words written on the wall, “this is a safe place”. He thought back about the time when she wrote that on the wall with a broken charcoal piece. He was lying down on the floor, looking at her, she was dancing around to an unsung song, some music in her head that he couldn’t hear. He tried in vain to remember her, couldn’t place her name or her face, all he remembered was the music he didn’t hear.

He slowly sat down leaning against the wall, closed his eyes, tried to remember the last time, the only time he had ever been here. It was a beautiful memory, something he vowed to never let go. The girl who came out of nowhere, the best conversation he ever had, the bite marks on his shoulders, but he still couldn’t remember what they had talked about, all he could remember was how it made him feel. She had left before he woke up the next morning and he never saw her again. If he was sure of anything in his life, it was that moment, when he knew, he would give up everything he ever had to go back to that room, that night. It made him feel young and whole again.

Kate didn’t know what she wanted when she came back to her home town. A lot had changed, the old ice-cream parlour where she used to hang out with her girlfriends was now a spa, her favourite second-date movie theater had disappeared into a mall. Then she remembered that she had moved away from this place looking for spas and malls. Nothing was ever good enough for her. The hope for the warmth and nostalgia that she came craving for was turning into a shrill cry of despair. When the hard realization struck her, she wanted to cry out loud. Just stand in there and cry, in the middle of nowhere, just scream out loud. She craved for her old friends, the attention, the love and the security.

And BAM! The bitch got hit by a bus.

“When the lights went out, she knew she was going to be stabbed by the proverbial dagger.” – Photo courtesy Joshi Daniel

She curled up into the little nook by his side, kissed him on his shoulder. She wanted to wake him up, talk to him, laugh – like they used to, but she knew better. She knew he was too tired and she was worried – this wasn’t the man she fell in love with, she longed for him, the cute kid in glasses who used to make her laugh. When she looked at his tired old glasses on their nightstand, she felt even the glasses said the same thing – he has turned into someone else, a machine, a workaholic who never cared for his health or her. She involuntarily kept drawing circles with her finger on his hairy chest.

“What’s bothering you ?”, his deep calm voice startled her, he wasn’t sleeping after all. 

“I thought you were sleeping…”, she smiled at him. He did not open his eyes, but smiled back, like somehow he knew she was smiling at him.

“Its you, you’ve been working on this project days on end, you don’t eat, you don’t sleep, hell you don’t even brush your teeth…”, she just found a vent. 

“I thought it was because I wasn’t spending enough time with you…”, he chuckled. 

“Well, yeah…that too”, she knew that was why she was upset, but she also knew that telling him that would mean she was being selfish, and then she felt helpless, the man knew her inside out. 

“Ever heard of the Macbeth’s dagger ?” – he asked out of nowhere, that was unusual, even for him. Then without waiting for her answer, he went on, “Its from a Shakespeare’s play called Macbeth – Macbeth was the kings kinsman, that’s like a Noble man – his wife and him conspires and kill the king with a dagger for very selfish reasons. “

“Selfish reasons ? And what exactly is a dagger ?” – She was amused that he was talking, even though it was about things she wouldn’t normally prefer. 

He let out a silent laugh and then went on to maintain his silence for a while before he spoke again, “A dagger is like a sword, but small and handy but not too small to be a knife. Before Macbeth kills his king, he has this inner confrontation between his sense of freewill and predestination, eventually he submits to his baser urges and decides to follow the vision of a dagger that would eventually kill his king.” 

“Why are you telling me this now”, she had to ask.

“Because I am facing an inner confrontation and I am going to follow my baser urges”, he then turned over, dragged her onto his frame effortlessly, kissed her forehead. When the lights went out, she knew she was going to be stabbed by the proverbial dagger.  

We all wear a mask, infact several masks. Everyone. Every single day.  Sometimes we wear them so much, we forget who we really are. And then if you are lucky, very lucky, there will come along a person, who will take off your masks, show you the light, and tell you who you are. Who you should be.