11:30 AM – Riding the bike, le wild phone rings.

Me : Hello ?

Her : Hey ! been trying to call you for so long – Where are you ?

Me : Heading home, Whats up ?

Her : I am going abroad next week, thought I’d see you before I go.

Me : Sure – when ?

Her : Today evening ? May be, I am not sure, will call you when I get there.

2:00 PM

She didn’t call yet, me walking across the room, fully excited, not sure whether I want to meet her or not, I have had le wild crush on her for a long time. She is going away now, telling her now is not a good idea, even if she likes me, she still has to go – will I be sad if I meet her ? I haven’t thought of her in a while – le mixed feelings

5:00 PM – Le wild phone rings again

Her : I’m at le wild coffee place

Me : Be there in 20.

Said that as an alliteration, It did sound cool in movies. Le wild calculation – coffee place is 14km away, average speed needed 42km/hr, office traffic, accomodate for traffic lights and variable changes, average speed needed 65km/hr.

5:20 PM – Le wild coffee shop, me and her, chatting.

5:40 PM – We’re on the road, hanging out – having the best time of my life

6:02 PM

Her : You know, we should have done this long back, this is nice.

Me (silently) : I have wanted to go out with you since the first time I saw you, pi equals 3.14159265…

7:30 PM – I take her back to her place

Her : Alright, till the next time.

Me : Probably not.

Her : hmm ?

Me : It is possible that we will not see each other again…Call me before you go.

10:30 PM – Le me on phone with le friend

Le wild friend : It’s just a crush man

Me : Fuck you.

Le wild friend : Bitch please. You are not in love with her, you’ve never been in love with her, you are just sad she is leaving.

Next day morning :

Le me in the shower – Contemplating all the big things in the universe and living in a fantasy world where everything is perfect and I am with her. Runs all possible scenarios where we get together, each as unlikely as other, nothing to do here. Le wild heavyness in the chest.

10:00 AM

Le me on the phone with le wild friend

Me : I want to kill myself.

Le wild friend : How ?

Me : I am going to eat till I die.

Le wild friend : Are you buying ?

Me : No will to live anymore.

Le wild friend : Okay, you are buying – be there in an hour

1:00 PM

Le me full of junk food, still not feeling high, still not feeling better – heavy cigar – still not feeling better – If only I had known spending a couple of hours with her would hurt so much for so long.

3:00 PM

Le me writing this as a reminder to never go on good bye dates again. Ever again.